陳百強的「等」和何韻詩的「明目張膽」

兩個年代的兩種態度。

若說王菲「約定」的續集是「郵差」，那麼這「明目張膽」更是明目張膽的去接續「等」。

Intro 已經「明目張膽」地讓人想起「等」。

八十年代簡單，千禧後的率直。

若說等，苦是因為你在選擇人，別人亦能選擇你。

若說真的等，那就不應明目張膽了。

既然你可選擇人，你也可以選擇企後幾寸去幻想，但千萬別要摸。

與其糊塗地換來他朝無窮的後悔，倒不如清醒地縮到最小，甚至彷彿不存在。

關鍵就是有權愛，其實也有權不必被愛，當然也有權選擇怎樣愛。

感覺又是「約定」和「郵差」背後的現實主義。

八十年代愛說：「做了後悔，總比不做後悔好」

千禧後世界並沒有變好，所以不做可以讓後悔更少。

最後選一些回應「等」的那種自憐宿命論：

Bridge:

暗裏進行更自在 不相戀 誰會受害 但願盡情地種 誰說花 需要開

Ending:

如若你發覺有我在 就結束暗戀的時代 無謂去博你憐愛
明白叫你太煩的 不是愛 
如若我也有權愛 同樣我也有權揀 怎樣愛

停了的錶

雖然它一動沒動, 但它卻還忠實地記錄著某個時間, 每天到了某個時刻, 它仍能準確地顯示那時間, 就在那一瞬間, 它的生命就好像突然回來了, 但就只有一秒鐘

對於這屬於它的那一秒, 它比世上一切會跑的鐘還要準確, 因為是時間追著它, 而不是它追著時間

就是它那等待, 它忠心的守候, 所以它可以絲毫不差地, 完美地捉緊那一殺

雖然只是一秒鐘, 但這卻是完完全全屬於它的一秒

時間不會停留, 但我卻可以

Life in the Gaps

I love you since you are imperfect,
otherwise, you don't need my love.
Perfections and imperfections were woven together,
and that's you, my love.

We were created together as a whole,
and so you can always find me even among your gaps,
but unluckily I asked myself,
am I only living among these gaps?

Suddenly, I realized that gaps are so special!
So special that they could be seen everywhere and any time!
And those imperfections were where I could infiltrate,
and to penetrate into every bits of your life.

I might not be able to be around:
when you're helping a mother to delivery a baby,
when you're preaching your sermon on the stage,
when you're writing your papers.

But I could be always be there:
when you're off work waiting for you down stair,
when you're scratching your heads for an outline,
when you're finishing and need typing.

I'd still love to be the main character,
here and there, now and then.

But being the sum of gaps of infinitesimal width matters, too!
And only in that way,

I could always find myself to be with you,
here and there, now and then.

(寫於今天早上, 我捉著太太的手, 問她我何時才可以做主角之時)

王菲的「約定」與「郵差」

林夕筆下的「約定」與「郵差」

不可能那麼多巧合，肯定是精心安排，這種手法叫 inter-textuality.

聽了十多年才突然聽出來，或許人必需要有經歷才能明白。早幾天我發現文字盛載不了感覺，我們只可以透過記述情境來鈎起感通，即以文字來盛載情境，再藉情境來產生感通。產生感通的前題是有共同經歷，要有共嗚感，不然就是對牛彈琴。

我卒之聽出了兩者之間的關係，這是好是壞？

浪漫與現實，幻想與痴想。

女孩的手

一覺醒來，發現自己捉著太太的手，我想起媽媽的手。

媽媽的手，是我這個男孩第一次觸碰的手，這種感覺我不懂形容，我只知我需要，而且很需要。

後來我這個男孩跌跌碰碰地，再觸碰另一位女性的手，這種感覺我也不懂形容，我只知道我需要，而且很需要。

我回家告訴媽媽，從她臉上的笑容，我又好像明白多了一點?

再幾年後，我這個男孩再觸碰到另外兩位女孩的手，她們是我的女兒，這種感覺我更不懂形容，但我知道她們需要，而且很需要。

這些年來，我真的不懂，但當我想起兒時捉著媽媽的手的時候，我又好像明白多了一點?

我不明白，但我只想捉著不放。

情，說不出來，只有感通; 愛，沒有完美，只有更濃。

甚麼是氣質?

人們常說氣質, 但到底氣質是甚麼呢?

中國人說各花入各眼, 情人眼裡出西施, 或外語說 "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", 無非都是說明美麗其實很難定義, 但另一方面, 對於美麗的東西, 人們大概都有相當共識, 所以許多年前, 我這樣總結:


美麗沒有定義,但卻有共識 :-)

那麼氣質又是甚麼呢? 通常給人形容為有氣質的人都不會太過美麗, 起碼總不是那些所有人都有共識的美麗, 對嗎?

我想, 氣質就是內在生命的湧流...

i.e. the outward flow (or overflow) of inward quality.

Love and Imperfection

I love my wife since she's imperfect, otherwise, she does not need my love.

Explanation:

I believe spouses are complimentary, we are made to help each others. We are all imperfect, and we shall love the good and the bad of our spouse. An immediately implication is that, I should love the imperfection of our spouse. And to go a step further, the imperfection is also why we would love our spouse.

Knowing your limitation

Whether you believe or not, we do have our own limitations. However, I should first clarify that these limitations are not hard limits, they are soft in the sense that they can be stretched by continual effort. But anyhow, we could not stretch too much.

With that in mind, we will be far more relaxed in our life. We all want the best, but in the practical situation, whether it is possible or not, we need to think.

Limitation is somehow good for limited beings. We have more than one role in our life, but then if you always want to strike for the best, you are going to give up something else! Guess what, the first one who is going to suffer is usually the ones who are so close to you, like your significant half or your family members. Remember, life is not for task but it's the reverse! Relationship could be built, but once it was damaged, you need far more effort to rebuild it (with a scar).

Three Little Pigs - Core value of a family

From the story of the three little pigs, you can see the importance of the core value of a family.

The first significant core value is diligence. The mother advised the little pigs that the world outside could be very dangerous, and they have to be hard working, to build themselves a secure home so that they can protect themselves. Of course, diligence is not something you can really teach, this is something which the receiver has to exercise themselves. It is more like an attitude than some form of knowledges that you can own, but it's more like your being. From the examples of the three little pigs, they exercise different degree of diligence. Whether that's enough or not, depend also on what you will actually face. A straw house could be strong enough if you just want a shelter under the sun, a brick house could be insufficient if you meet a strong earthquake but a straw house can survive you otherwise!

The second core value is cooperation, or the family relationship, or the brotherhood among the three little pigs. Obviously when they face big challenges, they will seek help from each others! This is again, not something that can be given, but it's more like a transfer of the "culture" of the parents, and when they're small at home. I would say this is the real core value of their family. Since no matter how the reality turns out, the brotherhood, a great family relationship, is going to help! Wisdom might not, diligence might not, but great relationship always help!

This is love.

Strength and Weakness

Let's face it, it's just normal, and we have to live with them!

Further, we need to appreciate them! We are not perfect, but it's not necessarily bad. I am not trying to speak good for evil, what I am trying to say is that, we are just human being, and we have our limitations.

Our spouse couldn't be perfect, and at the same time, it could be our imperfections which brought us together! We can help each others. If our spouse is perfect, s/he does not really need you, and might not be able to appreciate your existence.

So learn to love our spouse, completely. By complete, that includes the strengths and of course, the weaknesses.